Jumping the Shark

I'm not too picky about what I watch on tv. I can get sucked in to pretty much everything. Once there was a movie on Lifetime with Candace Cameron and Fred Savage and it was the corniest thing I've ever seen but I watched every minute of it. Since I will watch whatever happens to distract me, I'm not too worried about plot lines, etc...but what is going on with tv shows recently? I mean, they are jumping sharks left and right before the first season even wraps! I accidentally started watching a show called...I don't even remember, something about 100 Questions...and there was canned laughter in the background and horrible jokes, I felt embarrassed for the actors involved. Even shows I like are doing weird things.

Law and Order: SVU - First of all, Sharon Stone cannot act...at least she cannot act in a police drama. I used to LOVE this show, but then there was an episode with all these older actresses and some mattress king who fakes his own death and his burned in the process...he turns up at the police woman's house who was on the case years ago...it was so weird. And then the season finale where the teaser is like "you're going to find something crazy out about Sharon Stone's character" and you think, maybe we will discover why she is a bad actor, but then the whole crazy thing is that she had breast cancer and her lover left her, so she knows what this mom is going through who's ex had her son kidnapped but the son got killed in the process...what? Really, I mean, are the two comparable?

Glee - Ok, I love this show strictly for its entertainment/musical appeal. But COME ON!!!! It drives me crazy how the two cheerleaders were supposed to sabotage the Glee club, and then in the next episode they are all into it, and then in the next one they hate everybody, and in the next they love everybody. And apparently random rival choir director/Rachel's biological mom is going to just waltz into the hospital and adopt Brynn's baby? Because that's how that works? Oh, I want to start over and have a family...oh, you just had a girl? Well, our paths have crossed once or twice, I'm going to just go ahead and adopt your child, but that's cool because in one episode you became best friends with Mercedes so you can just go hang out with her. I mean, I know this isn't a high intellectual drama but can we have some plot continuity?

Even So You Think You Can Dance screwed up when they had two seasons back-to-back to try to ride the success of past seasons. Too much of a good thing can be bad. But they are redeeming themselves with the new format this season, at least that's what I think.

House and Lie to Me - You guys are cool. Best shows on tv.

This post makes me sound like I do nothing but watch tv, which isn't true. I DVR a lot of things, so some nights I just catch up on a ton of stuff when I don't feel like putting dishes away or talking to my husband or bathing my children. You know, free time.

Pieces of Flair

Ok, I know blogging about work is a big "no-no" when it comes to things like job security, not pissing off important people, etc., so I won't blog about work. Since this blog is so wildly popular, it could easy be viewed by the wrong people. Oh wait...this blog ISN'T wildly popular...screw the man! (But not really, I really need to keep my job)

I just wanted to say one thing, anyway, and this, my friends, is not a joke. I am not exaggerating, nor am I putting words in anyone's mouth. But, I was literally told by a certain someone who has certain authority over me that I put too much flair in my edits (I'm a proofreader). Seriously, too much flair? Now, if I had access to glitter pens and stickers, I could see this person's point, since I would obviously put those tools to use. However, I have a blue pencil. I correct spelling, add commas, and fix grammatical errors. Apparently the lines that I use are too loopy. Seriously, that phrase was also used. I loop my lines too much.

I am not against constructive criticism, and I received some of that, too. But how desperate are you to find something when you need to talk to someone about their excessive flair? Also, is this 1984? See, I guess I was just born to be more flamboyant than the position of proofreader allows. I'm starting to wonder if maybe I was supposed to be Adam Shankman...he makes me wish I was either a teen-aged Disney star or a gay man.

The Circle of Life - Dinosaur Style

For those of you who have never met my son, Lucas, in person - here he is. Who would have thought that, as a six-year-old watching "The Land Before Time," I was not only watching a moving story about dinosaurs (and passive-aggressive comments on global warming), but I was seeing what my future child would be like. Seriously, Lucas is the personification of Spike. I'm relatively certain that, as time goes by, Gavin will be leading all sorts of adventures while Lucas follows happily along eating and going with the flow. This will be great if they ever get in a land before time-type situation, since Lucas could find a week-old cheerio embedded in carpet in about six seconds flat. So, when Armageddon hits, follow Lucas if you need help finding food.

If you are following Lucas, however, do not get on an airplane with him. He may be sweet, good-natured Spike on the ground, but in the air he turns into that dinosaur that bumps things with its skull. He just gets angry and seems intent on making as much noise as possible while drooling and head-butting anything around him. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go ahead and google "pachycephalosaurus." According to Wikipedia, this dinosaur also had "wide flanks," which is yet another similarity between Lucas and a dinosaur. So, next time you think about taking a one-year-old on a three-hour plane trip, just imagine what it would be like to carry a hungry pachycephalosaurus on your lap while sitting in a tiny seat on a tiny airplane surrounded by weirdos (I'm taking about you weird lady who asked to hold my baby)...and then realize that you would probably rather walk across a barren, lava-infested landscape while being chased by a t-rex. Yep yep!

Remember what a biotch Cera was in that movie? I guess it takes all kinds...

Errry Day

I read somewhere that if you want to start a legitimate blog you should post often...as in...multiple times a day. Well, I realized I don't have enough interesting things to say to post once a week. And, I'm not sure what will happen once the Red Wings stop playing because I just realized that most of my recent posts have been during Red Wings' games. Haha, Trav just walked over here to talk to me and glanced at the computer...I'm not sure that he is even aware that I have a blog. Not that he isn't interested or supportive (well, ok, he's not interested, but he is supportive, sorta, about the important things anyway).

I think we end up with people that balance us. For example, Trav may not realize how funny and I am and how interesting my blogs are to read, but this is a good thing because it keeps me grounded...hahahaha, see how funny I am? But for real, I think if I had someone exactly like me I would be in deep trouble. We'd have 15 babies and 42 dogs and cats and would be way in debt because when I said, "Oh my gosh, that house is so cute, I know it is a million dollars but we should buy it!" the person would say "You're right, gotta take advantage of the market!" and then we'd end up living in my parent's basement or possibly a large box. Oh, I would also be about 300 pounds because we would love pizza and beer and that would be all we would eat except for the occasional french fry (you have to eat your veggies).

I think I balance Trav, too, since I make him do things he's not usually comfortable with like, talk to people, stop throwing furniture during Michigan State basketball, feed the dog....

But seriously, I don't necessary think that "opposites attract," at least not in our case, because we aren't opposites, but I think it is important to complement one another. I'm definitely neater than I used to be (although not "Lindsey" neat, wow, epiphany, what's up female Trav)! And Trav is a little more laid back about things...ok that's a lie...but anyway.

Oh, look who's trying to be a comedian. I just asked Trav if he feels like we compliment each other and he said "You're a little bit country, I'm a little bit rock 'n roll." At least my sense of humor is rubbing off on him.

Well well...

lookey here! I can blog at work! That is good, because I have an observation I'd like to make...notice I said observation, not complaint. I don't want people think I'm a debbie downer or complaining cathy or any other alliterative name like that.

So...toilet sheet covers/protectors. I get the point, especially in a gross public bathroom like a gas station or a bar. But really, isn't it just more to think about when you're in an office setting or a cleaner public bathroom? I mean, think about it, either hover or don't, but in the end you are still in a public bathroom and, unless you cover yourself in latex, you will be exposed one way or another to germs. The thing I have more of a problem with is people who flush with their feet. I'm sorry if you're one of them, but really, unless there is crap all over the handle, just use your hands and wash them afterwards! You are putting your shoes, which have been who knows where, on a place where many people touch. And then you go out and, even if you wash your hands, you turn on the faucet or dispense the soap or the paper towels or open the door or whatever...you must touch something, right? Unless you're totally on top of things and you case the place out beforehand and know everything is automatic and hatch an evil scheme to get out without touching a thing (and in that case you might need some professional help), you will get a germ or two on you! Oh, and not to mention that eventually you will have to touch something other people have touched. The door out of the office, or the copy machine, or the microwave handle. Oh, better late than never, here's a disclaimer: don't read this if you are prone to germaphobia.

I'm not saying that if you can't avoid germs you might as well take a bath in the toilet...just saying that your efforts are futile. FUTILE!!!!

Oh, and while I'm on the topic, did you ever hear the story of what happened to the Volkernator on her way down to Florida one year? I'll be nice and not post it on here, but lets just say it involves poop...on her hand...that wasn't her own.

Let's go Red Wings

Haha, got you! You thought I was going to talk about the Red Wings, but in actuality, in an attempt to resist getting a tv in our bedroom, I am "letting" Trav watch the game instead of watching LOST so he doesn't try and make a case for another tv.

Oh my gosh Kelly, why do you write such interesting things on this blog?? Hey...stop with the sarcasm, you are the one still reading.

So, I'm just procrastinating going to bed but I really don't have anything interesting to say. I mean, I have a lot of interesting things to say, but I already have a big mouth so I feel like it is not a good idea to complain about my inept boss (hypothetical of course, she is totally good at her job) or the most recent story about one of my friends (for example, one of my friends was recently hanging out with Paris Hilton so, by the transitive theory, I'm famous).

I could talk about Trav. He no longer has a facebook account and if it's not written on spartanmag.com or freep.com he'll never know. Hmm...what should I share about Trav. He sleeps with his eyes half open and his arms folded like a politically incorrect image of an Indian...you know, crossed in front of his chest but out a little bit? It is weird. And one time he said "goat cheese" in his sleep.

Oh, I know. I should write my inventions/observations down now since so many have been stolen from me. For example, a LONG time ago I was thinking about how comfortable it was to lay on someone's chest and I thought, hey, someone should make a pillow shaped like a persons chest/arm and a few months later...boom, there it is. Or, in college I would be talking on my cell phone and laugh or smile and my chubby cheeks would hit the end button and I called it "fat face hang up" and seriously, Caroline Rhea or whatever her name is has a comedy routine and uses those exact words. I have a great idea for a button in your car that you push and it makes it so the windshield wipers slap themselves on the windshield...you know, like you do manually to get the ice off? So the button would do it for you when you were in your car and you had an annoying ice chunk but didn't want to get out. Trav thinks that idea is dumb but seriously, if you're going to pay 60K for a luxury car, wouldn't you think, look at all the cool stuff this car has...heated seats, sunroof, oh, and the windshield wipers bang themselves against the windshield, so that is worth it right there. I just realized that now someone can steal my idea, but it is here first so don't even try it or I will sue you. Hey engineer friends, can you make my idea happen? I'll give you a cut of my fortune. I have a thousand other idea gems like this one in my head, let me know if you're interested in some great investment opportunities.

Knowledge is Power

Things I Learned Today:

1. I don't like artichoke.
2. When refering to people who work within a church but who are not clergy, one uses the term "religious." Here is an example: The clergy and other religious had a meeting.
3. Awkward encounters in an office break room or hallway will enivitably lead to comments on coffee, the weather, or a nice outfit (regardless of the outfit's actual niceness). A guy I work with always seems to be in the break room at the same time as me, and when we do the polite smile and nod thing I always reflexively say "I need more coffee" and he replies "tell me about it." I think next time I'll mix it up by saying something original like "is it Friday, yet?" or "oh, I was hoping there would be bagels left over."