Sunday, December 6, 2009

An open letter to crazy yoga instructor with long blonde hair.

Dear Yoga Girl,

I apologize for walking out of your class 10 minutes after it started, but I feared for my life. My infant son was in the child room and I knew they would come get me if I needed to change his diaper. According to you, the most distracting thing a person can do is talk or look around during your must have wanted to emphasize this fact since you talked about what not to do the whole time I was in there. Remember when you yelled at that woman for helping another person with a yoga pose? You are so enlightened since you say that a person just needs to "listen to her heart and any pose she does will be beautiful and perfect." I am going to go in there and just start vogueing and see what you say about the beauty of that. Oh...remember when you demanded that we keep our eyes closed and then when I looked up at you you pointed at your eyes and made a "close them" motion? Are you in the witness protection program? Are you afraid to be seen? Also, remember when we were doing breathing exercises and getting ready to get started and you lectured everyone about saving places with their mats? I'm so glad you gave a talk about not distracting others because you lecturing us was totally relaxing! I can't imagine not being able to hear your voice if someone next to me was trying to talk to me. So, in closing...even though the short time I was in there I felt like I was on Candid Camera or Punked or something...great job yoga instructor. P.S....this all really happened...this chick was crazy.


Melanie Anderson said...

And people wonder why it's so hard to find a good Yoga instructor! My co-workers thought I'd gone off the deep end when my favorite yoga instructor stopped offering classes and I went into deep morning. I actually stopped going for a year because I had such a problem finding another good instructor. Finding a good yoga instructor is as difficult as finding a good hairdresser!

K-Ron said...

Kel, you gotta try P90X Yoga- it's super long but you can do it at home and it's awesome! I'm so not a yoga person but I actually like it. And seriously, why are people crazy??