Monday, August 16, 2010


Cotton. What is with the whole cotton campaign? Colbie Callait, Alicia Keys, Jewel, some other country chick, Zoey Dechanel...they are all singing about cotton. Ok, fine...but you can actually download their identical songs about cotton. Oh hey, what's on your ipod? Hm, 6 versions of the same song...about fabric. Really? If you are reading this and you have a downloaded version of the cotton song, you are not my friend. Also, why does cotton need an advocacy campaign? I mean, it is like "Got Milk?" right? It isn't like it is just Hanes or some other clothing company, it is cotton as a whole. Is the whole cotton industry suffering? I'm pretty sure that most items of clothing have some percentage of cotton in them, and unless you happen to be Lady Gaga or a scuba diver or something, you probably wear cotton pretty often. I get the whole milk and pork and whatever other industry initiatives out there because I'm sure they support farming or American jobs or whatever...and I guess it could be the case with cotton...but again, it isn't as if cotton growers around America are like...oh man, everyone is really pumped about this new all-cashmere movement - how are we going to keep sales going? Like I have a choice when I got to the store between cotton balls and, I don't know, Lycra balls?

Wow, that is quite the rant on just cotton. I've had a tough week I guess.

Facebook. Oh my goodness, the facebook drama these past couple weeks. I don't want to add to it, but I have to say one thing. Passive-aggressive facebook statuses, while lame, are something I cannot judge because back in the day I used compose my AIM away message like I was writing my English thesis. I mean, I needed to make a really ambiguous and emotional statement about life using quotes from Dashboard Confessionals songs or some other emo artist. So, whatever, people are crazy, me included. Along that same vein, professing one's faith by "liking" certain things or joining groups or posting links is fine...whatever, that's who you are, do you what you want. But, I really don't think it is appropriate to post direct messages to God on your facebook status as a way to get your point across or vent or whatever. Even if it is done in are just posting how you feel ok, but guess what....God isn't reading your facebook status as an alternative to prayer.

Food. Food is always better when someone else makes it, regardless of what it is. I would rather have someone grill me up a hot dog than give me a wonderful raw cut of fillet, some uncooked redskin potatoes, and say, here you go, enjoy! I don't want to mash potatoes or worry about grilling the meat. If my mom makes me a grilled cheese sandwich it is going to taste a million times better than if I had made the sandwich myself - that is just fact. It is a strange law of physics but it is just the way the world works. That is why I would be way skinnier if I was on Nutrasystem or one of those other meal-delivery things, but unfortunately getting meals ready-prepared also costs money. So the moral of the story is, if you want me to lose weight, come over and get in the kitchen. Until then, Chef Boyardee is my homie.

Your car. Note to those who drive on a regular basis-your car's windows are see-through. Unless you're in the back of a limo, I can see you. On my way to and from work I have seen the following things. This is no lie:

1. A guy doing bicep curls.
2. A guy hitting himself in the head repeatedly.
3. A girl painting her toenails.
4. A guy reading the newspaper.
5. A guy in what appeared to be boxer shorts with no shirt on.
6. A women holding her dog with both arms...on her lap, trying to make sure it didn't jump out the window. Hey lady...close the window.

Everyone does stupid stuff when they are by themselves. I sing, whatever, I probably pick my nose, but I'm amazed at some of the things people do, like they think they are in their own little worlds inside their cars. And then of course they are bad drivers...everyone is a bad driver.


People who feel it is appropriate to comment on my child's size, abilities, etc. To the lady at the library who said she isn't surprised Lucas isn't walking yet with all the weight he has to carry around....seriously? I mean, I don't care as much that she said that as the fact that she thought it was perfectly acceptable to comment on someone's child like that. First of all, Lucas is a big boy, but he really isn't as chubby as people make him out to be. He is just really solid...but even if he was a huge ball of lard, I'm not going to go up and say to some person at the library, isn't a surprise that your child isn't walking because you obviously over-feed him and have some crazy genetic mutation in your family that causes you to be ugly and huge. I mean, I know that isn't what she was saying, but really! I've had people ask me how much Lucas weighs, how old Gavin was when he started walking when they see them both together, and then they say, well that is pretty common for one kid to walk later if the other one did, too. Oh really? Because I've done absolutely no research into late walkers. And how much do you weigh? Why is your kid so weird looking, is it because you are or is it his Dad? Oh, his Dad not in the picture, why is that? Did you run him off with your crazy?

Ok...something with a more positive tone to end this long post:

Dancing. How great is dancing? You can do it regardless of ability, just by yourself or whatever, and it will make you happy no matter what. We bought Gavin some shoes a week ago or so and he didn't want to wear them at first...I said, just try them on and he did and he stood up, looked at me and said, "Hey, I can tap dance in these!" That was awesome.

1 comment:

Melanie Anderson said...

Mental Note, do not read Kelly's Blog at work - otherwise you have to explain why you were laughing so hard at your desk.

Kelly - I've been called out - on facebook - by my cousin who caught me singing in my car while driving home from work. I tend to wave my hands all around while singing songs I like and she saw me at a traffic light doing that! :)